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Welcome to My Official Web Page!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Hate Mail



Dear Present Participles,

I've never written hate mail before, but my last post was about attempting something new. So I'm trying my hand at hate mail.

I hate you.

You are like the mucus in a Mucinex commercial, but even less appealing. And you've ingratiated yourself with my manuscript. Why did no one ever tell me how evil you are?

Yes, I know Hatshepsut fell for you. Hard. But that relationship is over. OVER! I will cut you out no matter how much it makes me bleed. Or her. Or anyone, really.

Hit the road, Present Participles. You're not wanted around these parts.

Cheers!
Stephanie

20 comments:

Amanda Sablan said...

Funny! What I hate is trying to remember what some grammatic things are. My brain just does not want to take it in ...

Head on over to my blog where there will be an award eagerly waiting for you! :D

Amanda Sablan said...

And a big congratulations on snagging 200 followers! :O

Vicki Rocho said...

hahaha...lemme know if those present participles write back!

Aubrie said...

I need to write a hate letter to adverbs....

Piedmont Writer said...

I'm on board with Aubrie. Nice letter.

And do you know DL from Cruising Altitude? He's looking for some representation from Alaska.

Amalia T. said...

Hahaha! good luck with those guys, they're tricksy.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

You're too funny! I hope it worked. :)

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Ew, and those commercials are pretty gross!

Cort Ellyn said...

I can't even remember what a present participle is. Argh! Which means I better look it up, remind myself, and go cruising my manuscripts for them. I'm already quaking in terror.

paulgreci said...

Yes, kill those ingers!

Elspeth Antonelli said...

I do wish I could go back in time and tell my school-age self to pay attention during those dusty dull grammar lessons. If I knew back then that I'd be doing this now, I swear I would have listened!

L. T. Host said...

I... don't know off the top of my head what a present participle is, but it scares me because I write in present tense. Gulp.

Mark Noce said...

Oh, my! Interesting, but how about some Love Mail too:) Something with Marvin Gaye or something:)

Jemi Fraser said...

Good idea! Although my hate letter is going to be sent to the redundancy department :)

Kathi Oram Peterson said...

LOL! Very clever! A great way to vent frustration. :)

VR Barkowski said...

Love this idea! I'm addressing my letter to repetitive subject/verb sentence structure. :)

Guinevere said...

Very funny hate mail, and those nasty present particles deserve it!

ann foxlee said...

Lol! That was awesome, Stephanie! :-)

SAMUEL PARK said...

Very funny! Hope those present participles stay away! By the way, tiramisu is really the best thing in the world.

Libbie H. said...

Haha! Good post.

But seriously, what's a present participle? I suck at grammar.