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Sunday, May 23, 2010

Why I'll Never Be An Agent

The last two weeks of grading gave me a taste of what life might be like as an agent. I could never, ever be an agent.

School got out on Thursday, but here's what I graded in the two weeks before that:


1. 66 Semester Finals
2. 48 Projects
3. 48 Speeches
4. 114 Essays
5. 66 Lincoln Douglas Debates
6. 48 Annotated Bibliographies
7. 114 Volunteer Work Verifications

My eyeballs almost fell out of my head. Here's why I'll never be an agent:

1. If I were an agent, the incoming assignments would never end- queries, partials, fulls, and client manuscripts. ACK!

2. I'd have to read a lot of the same stuff- vampires this week, angels the next, and who knows what else. Kind of like reading a gazillion essays on the Civil Rights Movement.

3. I hate rejecting people. Writing an F on someone's paper stings. I'd imagine having to reject a manuscript, not to mention a gazillion queries, might also draw a little blood now and then.

4. I like my eyes. Reading that much just isn't good for the retinas.

5. I'd have to be one of those agents who responds in a day or two. Otherwise, the pile of work starts to drive me crazier than I already am.


Let's just say I'm glad summer has officially begun. I get to hang out in my garden, finish Draft #1 on Book #2, and read. A lot.

Happy summer everyone!

22 comments:

Stephanie McGee said...

I think it's a good thing I'm not going into education any more. No, I don't think. I know. Glad you survived the grading! Sit back and enjoy the summer. Good luck with finishing the draft.

Lorel Clayton said...

My eyeballs ache in sympathy! I never want to be an agent either.
I'm glad you survived. Enjoy your summer!

Amalia T. said...

Man, I am with you 100% I could never be an agent either. I could also never be a teacher-- I don't know how you do it. I just don't have the patience for it at all!

Bring on the Summer Vacation!

L. T. Host said...

Thank goodness it's summer then. Holy cow! I don't know if I could be a teacher at that rate!

I couldn't be an agent, either. It's absolutely superhuman what you both do.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

My sympathies to your eyeballs. Your stats speak for themselves, and I agree that being an agent would bring me to my knees. Just the days we do blogfests and try to read and comment on each other gives me a taste of what they do. Whew! Thank goodness you get a summer break (you do, I hope!)

Stephanie Thornton said...

Stephanie- I survived, but barely! I'm SO glad summer vacation is here!

Lorel- Thanks! Now I definitely
appreciate the time agents need to ready queries and submissions.

Amalia- I'm not sure which has taught me more patience- teaching, querying, or parenting. And I'm still not patient!

L.T.- I don't know if I'm superhuman. Does that involve having a social life? I certainly don't have one of those!

Tricia- I know! I missed out on a lot of blogfests over the last few weeks. I simply couldn't keep up and my eyeballs had to rest.

paulgreci said...

I hope you have a great summer full of writing and other fun things. A well-deserved break from teaching.

Susan Fields said...

I think you'd make a very good agent - any agent that responds in a day or two is A-okay in my book. :) Enjoy your gardening and writing!

Piedmont Writer said...

Well, if you put it that way, I guess you're right, there's just way too much reading. I've already had to succumb to bi-focals. Yikes. And seriously, how much fun were those annotated bibliographies?

Jemi Fraser said...

That's a lot of papers to mark! Glad you made it through it all. :)

We still have another month to go before summer vacation - hope it goes quickly!

Kittie Howard said...

I saw your profile among Shannon's followers and thought I'd drop in (hope that's ok) as I lived in Egypt for a year, loved the series by Elizabeth Peters, and enjoyed your post about capital punishment in Old Egypt.

Susan R. Mills said...

Yuck! I don't know how you do it. Apparently, I could never be an agent or a teacher!

Stephanie Thornton said...

Paul- Thank! I hope this summer in Fairbanks is as great as last summer!

Susan- I definitely appreciate those agents with fast turn around now. And I can empathize with all of them!

Piedmont Writer- Annotated bibliographies are not fun to grade. But they're actually better than essays! Essays take forever because I write all over them.

Jemi- I hope the next month goes fast for you and slow for me!

Kittie- Of course it's okay! I'm so jealous that you've lived in Egypt! I've been there twice and need to go back soon!

KarenG said...

Every teacher in blogland is saying the same thing right now: HOORAY FOR SUMMER!!!

Cort Ellyn said...

Makes me greatly appreciate an agent's workload -- and grateful that I decided against going the teacher route. *sob* That list just hurts.

Bless you! And have a great time reading and writing this summer!

Jojomama said...

Hurray for summer!
Yeah- being an agent would be tough. being a writer trying to get an agent also sucks a little. (= haha!

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Oh my, so true. I'd struggle with all of that. And I hear you on all the grading! My eyes used to literally ache after reading so many papers. It was such a pleasure when I'd stumble across one that was just brilliant--original and well written. I suppose that's what it must be like for agents, too.

Mark Noce said...

Amen to trying to save your eyes:) Grading papers, reading books, editing...all of it wears them out, but then again...how can you say no to a good book:)

Natalie said...

That sounds INSANE!!! I don't know how you teachers do it. I agree though, being an agent would be worse. I can't imagine how hard it would be sending 20 times as many rejections as requests. I'd feel like a jerk.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

From one teacher to another...ditto!!! :-)

Dangerous With a Pen said...

I hear you, I could never be an agent either.

Hey, we don't get out of school until June 18th!!! :( Today was Field Day. It was hot.

17 more school days...!

Nishant said...

Thank goodness it's summer then.
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