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Welcome to My Official Web Page!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Student Analogies & Metaphors- Back By Popular Demand!

In honor of this being the second to last week of school before summer break (and the fact that this week I will grade 50 projects, 75 final exams, and 100 essays), I am unplugging. Must. Stay. Sane.

However, I wanted to leave you with an encore presentation of Student Analogies and Metaphors! Without further ado, here are some lovely metaphors, compliments of America's youth!

1. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."

2. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

3. It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.

4. The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.

5. The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

Okay, since I just finished teaching Clinton and the 90's, I will say #4 is pretty funny. But I love #5. Which one made you snort your coffee up your nose this morning?


Dominique said...

I have to say I'm very amused by #4. I almost don't believe it.

Have fun grading papers. 0_0

Dawn Simon said...

How fun! I get a kick out of all of them, but #2 totally cracks me up.

Good luck with all that grading. Yowza.

BTW, I love what you wrote by your pic in the "about me" box. Hee!

paulgreci said...

The dog puke analogy cracked me up. Good luck with the grading.

Jade said...

I liked #1 and I didn't understand #4. Hopefully that's because it's an American thing and not and intelligence thing!

Stay sane!!

Guinevere said...

Ok, those are all hilarious. I can't pick a favorite. No. 2 might be it, though, for description gone just a little wrong!

Lisa and Laura said...

Oh, I've missed these! My favorite has got to be the one about I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Hilarious.

Aubrie said...

They are all very funny and I like the "Can't Believe it's not butter" one the most!

Good luck with your grading.

Amalia T. said...

this was maybe my favorite batch of the year! 1, 3, and 4 were great. I love how in four, the parties and states are included.

laurel said...

Number 2 is pretty funny, but I loved number 3. There's something beautifully ironic in the tone that makes it rather sophisticated. I can imagine Lemony Snickett writing a sentence like that.

BTW, love the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon. I get to read tons of ridiculous, pompous babblings of PhD students like Calvin mocks here. I so wish I could post experpts for my blog readers' amusement, but I'd probably lose my job!

Piedmont Writer said...

#2 got me snorting. There's nothing like the sound of a dog throwing up.

VR Barkowski said...

LOL! They're all fabulous, but I agree with Anne: #2 had me rolling on the floor.

Taryn Tyler said...

They were all creative and I would have given these children excellent grades for not using cliches. The funniest analogy I have heard of this kind (though I can't quite remember where I heard it) was "He spoke with a wisdom that can only come from experience like a man who looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pin-hole in it and now goes around teaching at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without hone of those boxes with a pin hole in it."

Susan R. Mills said...

Definitely the first one! I'm still laughing about that one. Have a great break. I'm just coming back from one. It was awesome!

Natalie said...

HILARIOUS! I'm laughing like a dog vomits and it's fun. Hope you have a great unplugged week!

L. T. Host said...

#3 reads like Douglas Adams. I'm tempted to use it somewhere.

#4 is hilarious. That's really admirable, actually.

Good luck with all that grading!

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Ha ha ha! Good luck grading - I feel your pain! :-)

Jemi Fraser said...

Loved those - #3 had me holding back a mouthful of Earl Grey :)

I can't believe you're almost on summer break - We go straight through until the last day of June.... which seems a long way away right now.

Good luck with the marking!

Julie Dao said...

HAHAHHAA #4!!! Thank you so much sharing these, I always get a kick out of them. Good luck with everything and hope you have a productive unplug!

Lorel Clayton said...

I began weeping tears of hilarity from #2 on, and when I went back to #1 it started all over again. I love it!

Steph Damore said...

Too funny. Stay sane this next week. I went through the same thing two weeks ago with finals. Unfortunately, I'm teaching the summer semesters too. No break for me!!!

Janet Johnson said...

Love it! I hope to claim the exquisite refinement of being able to tell the difference between butter and ICBINB. Fabulous!

So I know you're going unplugged, but when you get back, I gave you an award at my blog if you want it. :)


Lola Sharp said...

That C&H's is a good one! I love the smug pretentious look on Calvin's face when he says: Academia, here I come!

As for your always entertaining A&M's...priceless, quality entertainment.

Sometimes things are so bad they're good. I kinda like that #3. It's so bad and weird, it almost works. ;)

Have a great unplugged week.

bookewyrme said...

Hrm, number 2 and number 4 are hilarious. 5 and 3 kind of made me giggle too.

It's like "Kids say the Darnedest things!" all over again.


kanishk said...

Thank you so much sharing these.
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amisha said...

Good luck with everything and hope you have a productive unplug!
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