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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Query Help!

Many of you have already read and commented on my query over at the Public Query Slushpile, but I'm posting it here one last time because I wanted to poll all of you regarding one sticking point.

I've been looking to find another successful female ruler before Hatshepsut- there are no confirmed prior Egyptian female Pharaohs who didn't plunge the nation into chaos- and I can't find any female rulers from Mesopotamia, Babylon, Sumeria, etc. Should I include something about Hatshepsut being the first successful female ruler in history or is that just the history teacher in me getting all excited at something being the first? I ask this because I want this book to come across as marketable and as a history nerd, this little factoid makes Hatshepsut even more cool than she already is. (It's hard to imagine that's even possible!)

Here's the query- any and all comments are helpful as I'll be querying in February.

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Dear SuperFab Agent,

The gods taunt those they love most. And they absolutely adore Hatshepsut.

When her father dies, Hatshepsut is forced to marry her hippo of a half-brother to secure his royal claim as Pharaoh. She becomes the real power behind Egypt’s crown, but as a woman, remains relegated to the shadows of the Horus Throne. The Pharaoh’s death can’t come soon enough.

Her brother dies three years into his reign and Hatshepsut becomes regent to her two-year-old stepson, launching Egypt into its golden age. Then she does the unthinkable. Amid foreign wars and a palace coup, Hatshepsut proclaims herself Pharaoh of Egypt. Tormented by her love of a commoner and cursed with personal tragedies, Hatshepsut will face a choice: family or eternal glory.

HATSHEPSUT: FEMALE PHARAOH is historical fiction complete at 90,000 words.

With the recent discovery of her mummy, Hatshepsut has been showcased in National Geographic, Smithsonian Magazine, and the Discovery Channel over the past three years. As a history teacher, I have traveled to Egypt twice to better tell Hatshepsut’s story and am currently at work on my second novel set in ancient Egypt.

Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.


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There you have it! Should I include something about her being the first successful female ruler or does it even matter? Also, I won't be around until New Year's Eve-ish as I'll be playing in Seattle. So if I don't see you all before then, have a fabulous and safe New Year!