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Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Maggots in Hot Grease

Most people hate Mondays. I hate Tuesdays. They're the longest day at work for me and also the day I have the most meetings. Teachers are busy people; we don't have time for meetings! Add to the mix a sore throat and my husband cutting his knuckle off (don't ask) and you've got a recipe for an exhausting day.

So I'm going to be lazy and post a few more Student Analogies and Metaphors because I could use the giggle and I'm hoping you can too.

1. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
2. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
3. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
4. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan might just work.
5. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Doesn't everyone have experience frying maggots in hot grease? I know you were just waiting to find out where today's post title came from.

I'm particularly fond of #3. Which one made you laugh the most?

21 comments:

Matthew Delman said...

Number 4 made me laugh out loud. A nice little metaphor and dig at Phil all rolled into one.

Although number 5 is easily awesome.

Faith said...

Number four did it for me... thanks for the much-needed midweek laugh :)

Shannon O'Donnell said...

#2 has always been one of my favorites, along with #1 and #5! :)

L. T. Host said...

I too, love number 4. Now to just figure out how to incorporate something similar in my writing...

Poor Phil

Valerie Geary said...

Frankly... I'm more interested in your husband cutting off his knuckle... :)

Renee Pinner said...

I love 4 and I am now wondering if your husband is a shop or Ag instructor. Around these parts, the gentlemen who fall in either category are generally missing a finger or two.

Stephanie L. McGee said...

#2 and #4 made me giggle. #3 took a couple readings to figure out where he made the comparison. (I missed the indicator phrasing the first couple times through. Sue me.)

Stephanie Thornton said...

Yeah, poor Phil. That's one of my husband's favorites.

The poor guy chopped off his knuckle cutting metal yesterday. He's replacing our hot water heater and boiler- kind of a big job. But they stitched it back on, thank goodness!

Julie said...

Number 4 is awesome!

Voidwalker said...

LOL #4... I know someone who fits that well :)

Tamika: said...

Number 1 reminds me of my tween- I could her saying it!

Bane of Anubis said...

3 was awesome; 2 was spectacular; 4 was precious; I can see King writing number 5, actually ... now we just need one about knuckle cutting.

Julie Dao said...

#3 made me giggle out loud. I'm going to have to use #4 in everyday conversation sometime. Thanks for the laugh!

Amalia T. said...

1 and 3 were my favorites. haha. Thanks! :)

Just Another Sarah said...

I liked 4... :)

L. T. Host said...

AGH! Somehow I missed the knuckle thing... ouch. Poor Mr. Thornton...

L. T. Host said...

Also-- did you get my email the other night? Just want to make sure it went through-- in short, I am still interested, of course.

Stephanie Thornton said...

L.T.- I did get your email and will be sending off the novel Sunday. At least if I stick to my schedule. *crosses fingers*

Bethany Mattingly said...

I like numbers 2 and 4 the most...of course, I'd love to know how one would know what happens when maggots are fried. :)

Wendy Sparrow said...

LOL. Eww. I can picture what maggots fried in hot grease might look like but, thankfully, no sadistic bent has required me to verify it. Who does that? Eww.

Mary said...

After reading today's post I had to come read these. Hilarious! Again I loved them all, but I liked #4 the most.